He’s Lazy and Won’t Do It
I can’t get Jimmy to do his homework without a struggle. His behavior at school worried me as well.
With my practice weighted to school underachievement, learning disabilities and ADD I frequently hear the title statement “He’s Lazy and Won’t Do It” from parents. Most of the time the statement is wrong. The child is not lazy; he simply cannot do it.
The task that the poor child is facing is not within his power.
He would love to complete the homework and get the parent off his back. But he can’t because of inattention or a learning disability. The vast majority of children do not want their parents haranguing them to complete a task that is either impossible or extremely difficult.To the parent the work seems like an elementary school assignment. But to the child, who cannot focus or process the written word, it is Mount Everest.
The struggling child may cry, become angry or simply withdraw from family contact. He may refuse to go to school. Often he develops a stomachache or headache, hoping this will keep him home.
Imagine if you had to go to a job that you had no training or skill in performing. Daily your boss would come by and push you to do it. When you neglected the task because you were not able the supervisor would report that you were lazy! Being an adult you simply would get up and leave. But in a child’s case the job is attending school; the boss is the teacher or parent. The child cannot simply get up and walk away.
The vast majority of children that I see would love to do well in school. They want to do their homework and not have parents “on their back”. Admittedly there are some children with behavior problems who do not care if they do their job. But they are in the minority. In fact, these unfortunate students need help for the condition. The specific care that they need is different from the ADD or learning disability patient. But it is needed nevertheless.